A glimpse of death

I have a lot of pets at home and a lot of them either get poisoned from the garbagemen or stupid neighbours or old age.
I know when they're dying and I usually am there moments or hours before they are gone like the post I've done before on Nicky.
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There was this once... he was already unwell.
His body was turning cold.
His limbs were becoming stiff.

I held him close to me trying to keep him warm with my body heat.
I lay him down for about an hour and when I checked on him,
his body had turned ice cold and he was shivering.
I quickly cradled him close to me.
A while later, the shivering stopped.
He had stopped breathing...
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It made me realize that seconds before you die,
it will be coldest moment of your life.
Till today its an overwhelming feeling to have something died in your arms.
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I don't ever want to touch something/someone who is dying again.
Its not as comforting as you think.
Its not, "At least I could be with him/her during his last second on earth"
Its a mark that stays with you.
It haunts you with thoughts like,
"What if I didn't move him. Would he have been alive a little more longer?"
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