Sunday, June 14, 2009

revealing an unhappy past

something happened to me while i was working in excapade
which made me quit one month earlier than i was suppose to
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The reason I gave to most of you was that
false gossips and rumours spread while i was away for CNY which the boss believed and ended up with me getting fired.
thats partially true but not the complete story.
even to this day, i still cry whenever something reminds me of the incident
i wanted to scream and literally kill myself
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i was sexually harrassed by the manager
this happened a week before CNY
it was the worst time of my life as I had no one to turn to
The first person I turned to was Jay Ar
he was seriously like a brother to me
he comforted me and i did the same
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The second person i told was a 'friend'
his first response... laugh
so now he's my ex friend
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Third person I told was Val because she kinda knew what was going on already.
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The day after the incident happened,
i slumped to the floor early in the morning before the shop opened and started crying my eyes out
I felt hurt and betrayed
Yudi who was one of the bartenders saw me
he kept comforting me and kept begging me to tell him
Eventually i did and from that day on, he always stuck by me to make sure that the manager does not try to do it again
However, it made his insane girlfriend jealous and she started calling me bitch and so on
They broke up anyway so whatever la. he never loved her anyway.
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Ate Fhe was the 5th person I told
she advised me to tell the boss which I did
didn't work out as well as you know now
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I quit work, wanting to go out and have fun and TRY as much as possible to forget the ordeal
but all of my 'FRENS' were too busy with god knows what
I just dealt with it by locking myself in the room with a laptop or tv
The other stupid mistake I did was going to excapade to eat for Valentine's Day
It brought back painful memories
Which just made the depression and crying start all over again
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About a week after school started,
I seeked the school counsellor, Cikgu Aryati
I felt a bit better but it didn't last long
going to gdg is enough for me to relive my nightmare
I know that time will heal all things but god...
at times i really wish my life would end

I know that I could've reported to the police but i know that the case wouldn't run
there was no proof whatsoever
i'm a 16 year old girl, working underage at a restaurant.
possibly under all the stress and pressure, finally CRACKED.
or maybe i had some weird personal grudge towards the guy.
so who in their right mind would believe me??
plus i still blame myself that it happened
what if I wasn't there? what if I never worked there??
then it would have never happened
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but here's a little insight on the manager, he's married.he has a daughter and wife who is currently pregnant with their secodn child. he has a girlfriend in KB and another girlfriend in Bandar. AND I was not the first victim, so i've heard.
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