Spoken and unheard

I'll be going overseas to study soon and I'm more than excited to leave this life behind but at the same time, I feel what most people feel which is fear. When I tell people that I'm afraid of not being able to make any friends or what if I make the wrong group of friends and I don't mean the cliche pot-smoking, booze-drinking, party-animal friends.

I've been down the road where I've met certain people and my inner voice keeps telling me that something isn't right about them but this person has been anything but nice to you so you feel guilty and shrug off your nasty inner voice. But oh, what's this? several months down the line you realize your inner voice was right and you're life has just been screwed over. I wouldn't be able to take another one of those dramas again. It was the hardest thing I had to get over in my whole life.

I'm genuinely scared and that experienced has scarred me. I don't even know who can even relate to me on this. When I'm thousands of miles away, who am I going to turn to? Even now, as I'm scrolling through my phone book, there isn't anyone I can think of calling first. I have no best friend, no boyfriend, no solid foundation. Then again, even if I did have someone to turn to, so what? What can they do?

Today is the first time in ages since I cried so hard without the help of alcohols or some boy breaking my heart. But it doesn't feel enough.

sometimes tears just don't cut it anymore
sometimes when I'm driving home,
I stop by the road side of a secluded area,
bury my face in my hands and scream.

Coolest optical illusion

It's an animated GIF that changed every 20 seconds or so. You're eyes are so adjusted to the inverted colour that when it's black and white, you'll actually see a coloured picture. :D